For All of Mine

How can you describe your appreciation to a person who has given you everything? By opening your heart and showing that person what’s inside.

Unfortunately this can’t be physically done. I just wish it could.

How can I wish my Mother a Happy Birthday? By telling her that she’s always been my life engine. My drive. My motivation. My Goal.

Simply, she’s been the reason for my existence. What better than existing? Even though we go through as many bad times as good ones, existence is the most valuable asset we have. And my Mother has giving me that opportunity.

Mom,

I can’t thank you enough for that. I love you for that. I adore you for that. I worship you for that.

My Mother laughs my laughs, sheds my tears, returns my love and fears my fears. She lives my joys, cares my cares and all my hopes and dreams she shares.

Real mothers know that a child’s growth is not measured by height or years or grades... It’s marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mother. And mine has excelled in each one of them. Always at my side, my Sister’s, her Grandsons' and all her loved ones.

Just about the time she thought her work was done, she became a Grandmother. Yet she took the job and, again, she excelled.

Kate Samperi once said:

A mother loves her children even when they least deserve to be loved.

I wonder if I deserve to be loved. If I don’t, and knowing how much you love me, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for not being able to make you travel the world. I’m sorry for not being able to take you out for dinner every single night. I’m sorry for not being able to buy you the biggest of the houses and make you the queen that you are. I’m sorry for not kissing you everyday both on sunrise and on sunset. I’m sorry for not giving you that hug which you deserve every second.

Otherwise, I’m all yours. Just ask and I’ll do the best I can. And if the best is not enough? Then I’m sorry.

You have given me so many things in this life. The things I did not have, you gave them to me.

Unfortunately we have both lost one. But it was worth living the experience. It was worth taking the ride. It was worth every single minute. It was better than not having it at all. He made us laugh and made us live. And would always want us to do that.

Believe me. He is watching. He is wishing. He is wishing you a Happy Birthday. I can feel it. And it’s not just talking nonsense. You know how little I believe in such things.

One day he will show us around Heaven. Don’t forget that!

But it’s your birthday, and we should party. We should celebrate the fact that you are getting younger every year!

This year we’re celebrating at home. I hope next year we would be both having a suntan on the white sand of Hawaii both holding cocktails with those small umbrellas on them. Just in case it's not going to be next year, I promise you someday we will. That would be seeing Heaven even before we actually see it.

Mom,

I guess I love you more than you love me because you have only loved me for a part of your life and I have loved you … for all of mine.

Nahida Khoury, Mom,

Happy Birthday to you!

Past & Future – What Else?

We have all gone through tough times. But we have also had our many laughs and good times. I have seen my nephews being born and raised to be great men of the future. But I have also seen people leaving me. Walking at a distance while turning their backs at me. Some of them cared but others didn’t. I only wonder if they ever did.

You know what? I don’t blame them. They probably didn’t know me enough. Or wait a minute. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I didn’t introduce myself well enough. Yes. I tend to be kind hearted sometimes and always claim responsibility for the mistakes of others.

Anyway. It just happens! We were all born to live through such situations. The more you experience them, the more tough you become. But being tough is tough. People around you have to live with it. If some of you out there are living with it, please excuse me. It was never my intention to be an unpleasant company.

Let us all get over our bad past. Let us just assume that the past is a foreign country. Where things are done differently. I have left that country and landed on a new one. A country called “Future”. A country where new things are going to happen. Whether good or bad, we just know that things are going to happen. Years later, we will decide whether we should stay or yet leave to another country.

I’m not trying to be pessimistic, but I truly think that we will be visiting every country of the world.

Don’t escape from your bad moments. They will follow you. They will stalk you. They will hit wherever you go. Any time of the day. It will come. So try to laugh about it. It will come smoother. Sometimes sweet. Expect it and it will sound nicer.

On the other end, try to act surprised when good things happen to you. Even when you’re expecting it. It will look nicer. A great surprise! What a beautiful sentence that is!

My dear OtherEnders,

Driving your future while trying to control your past is a tough ride. Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.

What is it you would let go of today?

Try to do this exercise. It really helps.

I will end this with another contradictory argument and let you make the judging.

Why should we look to the past in order to prepare for the future?

Because there is nowhere else to look.

Good Luck Mr. President

Years ago, while at the American University of Beirut, I had the chance to be a member of the Student Representative Council. An honor which was given to me by the students themselves. Those that saw in me the person who could represent them the most.

A great experience indeed. One of those that boost your confidence. But surely one of those that freak you out. Knowing that you have to do your best to prove your initial intentions.

It starts with the simple fact that you need to challenge yourselves and the other nominees. Then comes the positive goal of making it into the Council. Then comes the work and the responsibilities. Then comes the politics and the headache.

Henry Kissinger once said that university politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. Imagine that even such a high ranked politician spoke about this kind of politics. Then you could say to yourselves:

How crucial it is!

This subject came to my mind knowing that now it is election season around the universities based in Lebanon. While politicians are battling each other in their offices and on television, students are taking it to their university halls and classes. They want to prove that their leaders are there. Even around the smallest fields.

Who is going to win? Not the one who sticks to his beliefs and relies on the followers of his beliefs.

Take it from me. When I ran for a seat in the Student Representative Council of the American University of Beirut I had no beliefs. What I had was a program which only concerns the students in their university. And that is what elections should be all about.

But, I guess I was diplomatic enough to win votes from all around. Even from parties involved in historic conflicts. I remember the midnight calls I used to get from activists from all sides telling me that they were going to include me on their lists. Was it wrong to accept? Almost ten years later ... I don’t think so. I had been supported and elected by all parties. The ones with whom I share some beliefs and the ones with whom I share nothing at all.

But when does the headache hit? Later during the SRC meetings when those same parties are fighting over some new laws. Most of the time, a blank paper was there. Mine! Playing it safe to say that I’m with everyone and against no one, but I’m rather there for someone: for the students.

That wasn’t easy in practice. Not easy at all.

I fear that this might happen in my country on a bigger scale. The next President. Different parties are working on agreeing on one person for all. I assume this person will have, in a way, the same characteristics I had when I was still in university. But once elected, what will he do? Serve the people?

Unfortunately serving the people for one party is acting against the people for another.

Good luck,

Mr. President!