I'm Just a Man

The story I’m going to tell is pretty much how I discovered a person. I then discovered myself and the things that had shaped me to appreciate what lies beneath the surface. I discovered the rhythm that sometimes keeps you smiling and wondering. Discoveries don’t happen often. They happen once and remain forever. Discoveries can be hard to handle sometimes. You just have to know how to control the situation and move forward. Discoveries can change the world and life sometimes.

“Fasten your seat belts - it's going to be a bumpy night.
Margo Channing (Bette Davis) in All About Eve (1950)

It hits you, but amazingly sometimes you say: Hit me! You ask for it. You’re the victim of your own choices and decisions. But what if it feels like you’re on a cruise around the Caribbean Islands? It’s even better.

The funny thing is that she knows “she had me at Hello”. How can you move from there? You’re already busted. But never mind. It’s always better to show the reality than to hide the truth. We weren't put here to be mysterious. We were put here to do the best we can, and we should take our energy and improve our state of being.

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

And believe me, that light is there. In her dark eyes. You can see them sparkle and can see the reflection all over you. It’s amazing. A beautiful thing to look at. Someone once said that “the eyes are the mirror of the soul”, and it’s amazing how you never know how you look through other people’s eyes. One reflection that you can never control. You just act normal and hope the reflection is as pleasant.

I had always believed that beauty is the natural result of a state of being and mind. When you realize what you have, others can see it as well. Modest confidence is a major tool that people sometimes fail to handle. Again, she knows that “she had me at Hello”.

And believe me: even before that glass of wine … I was already dizzy.

She smiles, throws a comment and then smiles again. Shall the smile be heavy she puts her head down and covers it with her natural dark hair. And what a beautiful thing to look at. If she’s not looking at you and then you turn to watch her, she immediately looks back at you and says: “What!” (With a smile) And what a beautiful thing to look at and hear.

She’s a perfect combination of maturity and childishness. And everything in between is just a pleasure to experience.

Joshua Loth Liebman once said:
“Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values.

The issue is that sometimes in the presence of such beauty, you go back to becoming a child. A baby who never looks too much ahead and only follows the pleasures and instincts of the moment. But yet again, you try to control yourself and act as a man. And that’s what I am. A man. I guess. No. I’m sure.

Again I remember. She asks questions and requires immediate answers. And you cannot dare not give her answers. Plus you cannot lie and hide things. Because true answers come so easily and it is in my nature to be honest. Sometimes unfortunately.

Life has taught me that time is scarce. Opportunities are limited. And competition is stiff. I have lost some people who had shaped my existence, but still, I continuously meet those who have the tendencies to shape it even more. A friend of mine once died. He is still around and will show me around Heaven one day. I’m sure he lives my experiences because he is watching over me. He probably knew his time was limited in this world. He had never shared this idea with me though. Instead he showed me how to live a life as if it were a twenty four hour ride. It’s simple: be honest with yourself and with the people around you. This way, life will open its arms wide for you. You will see the sunrise and sunset and every beauty in between.

She was once somewhere. Today she’s here. Tomorrow, who knows where she might be. I wonder. But I hope. I dream of seeing her where I want her to be. And sometimes dreams come true. Dreams that come from the heart and are translated into reality. And translation is something some people know how to handle perfectly. I will just do my part of the job. The other part I will leave for an Angel invading my thoughts.

REM’s Michael Stipe once said:
“Sometimes I’m confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn’t obvious…

I know I’m never promised my next breath. So I will benefit from this one to say that you’re every man’s dream.

And yes.

I’m just a man.