The story I’m going to tell is pretty much how I discovered a person. I then discovered myself and the things that had shaped me to appreciate what lies beneath the surface. I discovered the rhythm that sometimes keeps you smiling and wondering. Discoveries don’t happen often. They happen once and remain forever. Discoveries can be hard to handle sometimes. You just have to know how to control the situation and move forward. Discoveries can change the world and life sometimes.
“Fasten your seat belts - it's going to be a bumpy night.
Margo Channing (Bette Davis) in All About Eve (1950)
It hits you, but amazingly sometimes you say: Hit me! You ask for it. You’re the victim of your own choices and decisions. But what if it feels like you’re on a cruise around the Caribbean Islands? It’s even better.
The funny thing is that she knows “she had me at Hello”. How can you move from there? You’re already busted. But never mind. It’s always better to show the reality than to hide the truth. We weren't put here to be mysterious. We were put here to do the best we can, and we should take our energy and improve our state of being.
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
And believe me, that light is there. In her dark eyes. You can see them sparkle and can see the reflection all over you. It’s amazing. A beautiful thing to look at. Someone once said that “the eyes are the mirror of the soul”, and it’s amazing how you never know how you look through other people’s eyes. One reflection that you can never control. You just act normal and hope the reflection is as pleasant.
I had always believed that beauty is the natural result of a state of being and mind. When you realize what you have, others can see it as well. Modest confidence is a major tool that people sometimes fail to handle. Again, she knows that “she had me at Hello”.
And believe me: even before that glass of wine … I was already dizzy.
She smiles, throws a comment and then smiles again. Shall the smile be heavy she puts her head down and covers it with her natural dark hair. And what a beautiful thing to look at. If she’s not looking at you and then you turn to watch her, she immediately looks back at you and says: “What!” (With a smile) And what a beautiful thing to look at and hear.
She’s a perfect combination of maturity and childishness. And everything in between is just a pleasure to experience.
Joshua Loth Liebman once said:
“Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values.
The issue is that sometimes in the presence of such beauty, you go back to becoming a child. A baby who never looks too much ahead and only follows the pleasures and instincts of the moment. But yet again, you try to control yourself and act as a man. And that’s what I am. A man. I guess. No. I’m sure.
Again I remember. She asks questions and requires immediate answers. And you cannot dare not give her answers. Plus you cannot lie and hide things. Because true answers come so easily and it is in my nature to be honest. Sometimes unfortunately.
Life has taught me that time is scarce. Opportunities are limited. And competition is stiff. I have lost some people who had shaped my existence, but still, I continuously meet those who have the tendencies to shape it even more. A friend of mine once died. He is still around and will show me around Heaven one day. I’m sure he lives my experiences because he is watching over me. He probably knew his time was limited in this world. He had never shared this idea with me though. Instead he showed me how to live a life as if it were a twenty four hour ride. It’s simple: be honest with yourself and with the people around you. This way, life will open its arms wide for you. You will see the sunrise and sunset and every beauty in between.
She was once somewhere. Today she’s here. Tomorrow, who knows where she might be. I wonder. But I hope. I dream of seeing her where I want her to be. And sometimes dreams come true. Dreams that come from the heart and are translated into reality. And translation is something some people know how to handle perfectly. I will just do my part of the job. The other part I will leave for an Angel invading my thoughts.
REM’s Michael Stipe once said:
“Sometimes I’m confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn’t obvious…
I know I’m never promised my next breath. So I will benefit from this one to say that you’re every man’s dream.
And yes.
I’m just a man.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Out of Africa
The flight to Casablanca was unexpectedly exhausting. For some reason I had thought that it would take three to four hours. I had always assumed that I had a certain gift in geography and, having made the Beirut-London and Beirut-Paris flights so many times, I should have known that Casablanca was a bit further away and therefore should have logically realized that the flight would take almost seven hours.
Anyway, the Beirut-Casablanca flight did in fact last almost seven hours. I was sleeping, waking up, sleeping, waking up and so on. Something I always hated to do. But eventually we reached Morocco. A beautiful country seen from above and no doubt the same from within. The airport was packed, mixing people from all nationalities, colors and backgrounds. After all, the city links Africa to Europe and Africa to the Americas.
Having an hour before taking off to Abidjan in Cote d’Ivoire, I had the worst coffee ever. In addition to that, I had the worst cigarette break ever. Like in most airports, I was squeezed in a small “prison cell” where I could barely see the other prisoners due to the thick smoke which seemed like the prison guard, and surely a ruthless one.
After having blamed myself for being a criminal – a smoker – it was almost time to check in for my next flight: Casablanca-Abidjan. It was the first time I found myself among so many dark people. I knew I was in Africa.
The flight to Abidjan was extremely easy though it was a five hour one. I slept through it all. I even woke up after landing. I looked outside of the window and saw that it was all dark. Africa was dark. At least until now.
I exited the airplane to see a civilian taking almost all passengers’ passports. We had to walk around following him, never realizing where we were heading. I was so lucky to spot my dear friend who was picking me up from the airport. Exactly knowing how things happen there, my friend had brought a policeman with him: Robert. Robert had few words with the civilian who had confiscated my passport, dropped some coins in his pocket and there I was: outside the airport, not even going through security. In his turn, Robert enjoyed some heavy coins in exchange for his very needed services.
Once we hit the road, I see a small light at distance going on and off. My friend pulls over and I see two policemen standing there. One of them says: “Y a pas le café?” Meaning: “Won’t you give me some money for my coffee?” Again, my friend drops him some coins.
Yes. Until now, this was Africa. Unfortunately. A civilization never realizing how much wonders it had. Sad I must say. Such a beautiful world sucked in by the Wild West.
I spent a beautiful week in Africa. I saw Africa, smelled it, breathed it and lived it. A mystery that sometimes people avoid. I was there standing on gold, blood diamonds and oil. I was watching Africans begging. They never bothered to look beneath them and see what was there. People were taken into the moment of striving to survive. Governments were kept by the West in exchange for their silence. The West digging in the ground and enjoying the fruits back home.
Sad.
I have seen tears in the eyes of every African. But I have also seen their joys. Everyday they celebrate their lives. They love the land which has given them nothing, but which remains their home. They probably know that true love is unconditional. I wish others could understand that as well.
I could write about Africa forever, but I’m going to cut it short and keep the rest in my heart. I don’t feel like taking them out. I am enjoying their presence. I want to live with the Africa which in a way I have become a part of and which has become a part of me.
Nine days after I had landed in Africa, I had to physically leave it. I took my window seat in the plane and kept looking outside. Few minutes later, the plane took off and I was still staring.
I was: Out of Africa.
Anyway, the Beirut-Casablanca flight did in fact last almost seven hours. I was sleeping, waking up, sleeping, waking up and so on. Something I always hated to do. But eventually we reached Morocco. A beautiful country seen from above and no doubt the same from within. The airport was packed, mixing people from all nationalities, colors and backgrounds. After all, the city links Africa to Europe and Africa to the Americas.
Having an hour before taking off to Abidjan in Cote d’Ivoire, I had the worst coffee ever. In addition to that, I had the worst cigarette break ever. Like in most airports, I was squeezed in a small “prison cell” where I could barely see the other prisoners due to the thick smoke which seemed like the prison guard, and surely a ruthless one.
After having blamed myself for being a criminal – a smoker – it was almost time to check in for my next flight: Casablanca-Abidjan. It was the first time I found myself among so many dark people. I knew I was in Africa.
The flight to Abidjan was extremely easy though it was a five hour one. I slept through it all. I even woke up after landing. I looked outside of the window and saw that it was all dark. Africa was dark. At least until now.
I exited the airplane to see a civilian taking almost all passengers’ passports. We had to walk around following him, never realizing where we were heading. I was so lucky to spot my dear friend who was picking me up from the airport. Exactly knowing how things happen there, my friend had brought a policeman with him: Robert. Robert had few words with the civilian who had confiscated my passport, dropped some coins in his pocket and there I was: outside the airport, not even going through security. In his turn, Robert enjoyed some heavy coins in exchange for his very needed services.
Once we hit the road, I see a small light at distance going on and off. My friend pulls over and I see two policemen standing there. One of them says: “Y a pas le café?” Meaning: “Won’t you give me some money for my coffee?” Again, my friend drops him some coins.
Yes. Until now, this was Africa. Unfortunately. A civilization never realizing how much wonders it had. Sad I must say. Such a beautiful world sucked in by the Wild West.
I spent a beautiful week in Africa. I saw Africa, smelled it, breathed it and lived it. A mystery that sometimes people avoid. I was there standing on gold, blood diamonds and oil. I was watching Africans begging. They never bothered to look beneath them and see what was there. People were taken into the moment of striving to survive. Governments were kept by the West in exchange for their silence. The West digging in the ground and enjoying the fruits back home.
Sad.
I have seen tears in the eyes of every African. But I have also seen their joys. Everyday they celebrate their lives. They love the land which has given them nothing, but which remains their home. They probably know that true love is unconditional. I wish others could understand that as well.
I could write about Africa forever, but I’m going to cut it short and keep the rest in my heart. I don’t feel like taking them out. I am enjoying their presence. I want to live with the Africa which in a way I have become a part of and which has become a part of me.
Nine days after I had landed in Africa, I had to physically leave it. I took my window seat in the plane and kept looking outside. Few minutes later, the plane took off and I was still staring.
I was: Out of Africa.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Presence of the Unseen
Remarkably enough, we live to see beauties. Mysteries have always been the hidden truths of existence. The wind blows around and messages pass by sometimes unnoticed. Great men come to mark an impression on us but, unfortunately leave to mark a greater impression after their disappearance. And that’s how things are ought to be. Not often as we want them to influence the creatures that we are.
Angels are somewhere around. Unseen to make us see. See what lies behind their hiding places. They will remain transparent parts of our lives. It is for us to decide whether to live with their existence or not. Loved ones will always remain in our thoughts. They will always keep us company for the sake of ourselves. We make them stay and we ask them to leave, depending on how much we seek their existence.
It’s been a while, but “I Am Somewhere”.
I am too an OtherEnder trying to see that OtherEnd through my existence. Never willing to wait and see it through my disappearance.
I can feel your presence. Things will eventually work out.
I know.
Angels are somewhere around. Unseen to make us see. See what lies behind their hiding places. They will remain transparent parts of our lives. It is for us to decide whether to live with their existence or not. Loved ones will always remain in our thoughts. They will always keep us company for the sake of ourselves. We make them stay and we ask them to leave, depending on how much we seek their existence.
It’s been a while, but “I Am Somewhere”.
I am too an OtherEnder trying to see that OtherEnd through my existence. Never willing to wait and see it through my disappearance.
I can feel your presence. Things will eventually work out.
I know.
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