Out of Africa

The flight to Casablanca was unexpectedly exhausting. For some reason I had thought that it would take three to four hours. I had always assumed that I had a certain gift in geography and, having made the Beirut-London and Beirut-Paris flights so many times, I should have known that Casablanca was a bit further away and therefore should have logically realized that the flight would take almost seven hours.

Anyway, the Beirut-Casablanca flight did in fact last almost seven hours. I was sleeping, waking up, sleeping, waking up and so on. Something I always hated to do. But eventually we reached Morocco. A beautiful country seen from above and no doubt the same from within. The airport was packed, mixing people from all nationalities, colors and backgrounds. After all, the city links Africa to Europe and Africa to the Americas.

Having an hour before taking off to Abidjan in Cote d’Ivoire, I had the worst coffee ever. In addition to that, I had the worst cigarette break ever. Like in most airports, I was squeezed in a small “prison cell” where I could barely see the other prisoners due to the thick smoke which seemed like the prison guard, and surely a ruthless one.

After having blamed myself for being a criminal – a smoker – it was almost time to check in for my next flight: Casablanca-Abidjan. It was the first time I found myself among so many dark people. I knew I was in Africa.

The flight to Abidjan was extremely easy though it was a five hour one. I slept through it all. I even woke up after landing. I looked outside of the window and saw that it was all dark. Africa was dark. At least until now.

I exited the airplane to see a civilian taking almost all passengers’ passports. We had to walk around following him, never realizing where we were heading. I was so lucky to spot my dear friend who was picking me up from the airport. Exactly knowing how things happen there, my friend had brought a policeman with him: Robert. Robert had few words with the civilian who had confiscated my passport, dropped some coins in his pocket and there I was: outside the airport, not even going through security. In his turn, Robert enjoyed some heavy coins in exchange for his very needed services.

Once we hit the road, I see a small light at distance going on and off. My friend pulls over and I see two policemen standing there. One of them says: “Y a pas le café?” Meaning: “Won’t you give me some money for my coffee?” Again, my friend drops him some coins.

Yes. Until now, this was Africa. Unfortunately. A civilization never realizing how much wonders it had. Sad I must say. Such a beautiful world sucked in by the Wild West.

I spent a beautiful week in Africa. I saw Africa, smelled it, breathed it and lived it. A mystery that sometimes people avoid. I was there standing on gold, blood diamonds and oil. I was watching Africans begging. They never bothered to look beneath them and see what was there. People were taken into the moment of striving to survive. Governments were kept by the West in exchange for their silence. The West digging in the ground and enjoying the fruits back home.

Sad.

I have seen tears in the eyes of every African. But I have also seen their joys. Everyday they celebrate their lives. They love the land which has given them nothing, but which remains their home. They probably know that true love is unconditional. I wish others could understand that as well.

I could write about Africa forever, but I’m going to cut it short and keep the rest in my heart. I don’t feel like taking them out. I am enjoying their presence. I want to live with the Africa which in a way I have become a part of and which has become a part of me.

Nine days after I had landed in Africa, I had to physically leave it. I took my window seat in the plane and kept looking outside. Few minutes later, the plane took off and I was still staring.

I was: Out of Africa.

Presence of the Unseen

Remarkably enough, we live to see beauties. Mysteries have always been the hidden truths of existence. The wind blows around and messages pass by sometimes unnoticed. Great men come to mark an impression on us but, unfortunately leave to mark a greater impression after their disappearance. And that’s how things are ought to be. Not often as we want them to influence the creatures that we are.

Angels are somewhere around. Unseen to make us see. See what lies behind their hiding places. They will remain transparent parts of our lives. It is for us to decide whether to live with their existence or not. Loved ones will always remain in our thoughts. They will always keep us company for the sake of ourselves. We make them stay and we ask them to leave, depending on how much we seek their existence.

It’s been a while, but “I Am Somewhere”.

I am too an OtherEnder trying to see that OtherEnd through my existence. Never willing to wait and see it through my disappearance.

I can feel your presence. Things will eventually work out.

I know.

I Am Somewhere

For the past few weeks, I had little time to write but, as always, enough time to think and explore. Thinking was and should never be bounded by time or by schedules. For some reason it’s still a free activity that you could fully control and practice.

It’s amazing the huge number of people you encounter in life. Or even in few weeks. You meet the happiest people and, on the other hand, you meet the least happy ones. Unfortunately, in between, you don’t meet much of them. They have disappeared in a way, just like the middle class has. Does this relate happiness to money? Well maybe it does. Money is still a commodity which eases life and its daily operations.

But happiness comes in many forms: in the company of good friends, in the feeling you get in making someone’s dream come true or in the promise of hope renewed.

It’s ok to let yourself be happy because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be.

But sometimes someone’s dream is not your own. And if you’re a part of this someone’s dream, how difficult would it be to fulfill it. You want to make that person happy by making that dream come true, but you also don’t want to be a part of that dream. This is when we fear ourselves or the circumstances around.

What should one do in this situation? How can we make others happy when their dreams are not ours? And especially when we are major characters in those dreams.

We probably ask them to chase other dreams. Those they can reach easily. And those where we have no existence.

If you could go back and change one thing about your life, would you? And if you did, would that change make your life better? Or would that change ultimately break your heart? Or break the heart of another? Would you choose an entirely different path? Or would you change just one thing? Just one moment. One moment that you always wanted back.

Take a minute and think about it.

We might live with regret, but regret is what made our lives. Those moments that I went through made that thing called “my life”. Shall I take them back, “my life” would be nothing. Just an empty space in time.

Sometimes it is difficult to see happy people when we are sad. We just wish we were in their shoes. And sometimes, when we’re happy, it’s difficult to feel with the sad ones.

How selfish we can be! Very much so. But that’s just how we are. It’s our nature.

I still haven’t found my place in this world. I’m still searching. There are too many papers on the table. That’s probably my mistake. I should probably keep few papers and give them all my attention. Chose among them. There are papers I find difficult to through away. I probably do that for the sake of others. Just to keep others happy. But that’s a mistake. Eventually the papers will be dropped. And those others will be dropped as well. All I would have done is given a chance for the ink to disappear. That’s when things become ugly and unreadable.

Life is full of mysteries. Also full of crap. But also full of greatness. But the mix is beautiful. Especially when you find who you are and have a slight idea about who you will be.

I’m still searching for what’s on the other end of sunrise. Because I will probably see myself on the other end. Sitting on a sandy beach and watching the sunset. I might be there with someone I once lost, and happy to have seen again.

The question is: Is there Heaven?

The answer would be: I don’t know. Is there?